Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Fresh Starts


Here I sit on New Year’s Day, bored, unhappy with my job, scrolling through pinterest looking for something to do, some way to earn extra money, some way to change my career.  Finally the realization hits that all year my thoughts have been swirling around journaling, editing, proofreading, blogging, writing.  So why aren’t I doing it?
A new resolution:  Just do it.  Don’t worry about whether it will work or if anyone will read it.  Writing is catharsis, so just sit down and write something!  My 40th birthday is exactly one week away, and while some wonderful things have happened during those 40 years, I would say they have been marked with a pattern of victim-mindset, lack of confidence, and fear.  This will also serve as another step away from that habit of self-defeatism.  I will do it, say it, mean it, and not apologize for being who I am.  That doesn’t have to mean selfishness or callousness.  I can still strive to be compassionate, thoughtful, tactful, honest and patient.  I just don’t have to sacrifice myself to get there.